A New Adventure is Out There and I am … Scared?!

Hey everyone in the blogging universe!

I am so so so so soooo sorry for not posting sooner! Life lately has been a crazy and eventful ride! I can’t really remember the last time I posted, which makes me very sad. I love blogging and I wish I had the time and energy it takes to blog full-time! Anyways, I have some incredible news!!!


Now some of you might be thinking, where is Macedonia?? Macedonia is a country in Europe that is just above Greece!

This is where Macedonia is!

This is where Macedonia is!

Now you may be wondering why?? I am going there on a missions trip. Yes yes a missions trip. I know it may sound a little odd. I don’t normally want to go on missions trips because I love being able to connect with people around me, but this is a really great opportunity.  I am so excited, mainly because #1, It’s a group of 11 people including me! Introverts rejoice!! #2, it’s an opportunity to support the local churches in Macedonia and be able to serve them any way that we can. This is a great adventure and I am so excited…. Sort of…

Now here comes the heavy stuff…

I have only been out if the country once in my life, and that was for a mission trip to Costa Rica.. and it didn’t go as well as I had hoped.. That’s a long story for another time..

anyway, the main reason I am slightly terrified about this trip is I will be going farther away from home than I have ever been, in a country I hardly know and won’t be able to understand people. I know this sounds super petty and stupid, but its a real fear for me. I know nothing of jet lag or culture shock… I have never experienced those things in my life! I wish I could be bold and say that those things don’t matter and that I will be helping others, but that isn’t being real and honest about it, which is very important to me…

As much as I can’t wait for this trip, I also hope that I can go into it with a mindset of peace instead of fear. The one thing I have been able to focus on that has kept the nerves down is thinking of all of those people in Macedonia that I will be helping. I am trying and trying to have peace because for a very long time I have always had that voice in the back of mind saying that I am not worth it. That I have no value. That is what terrifies me the most about this trip. It is being able to shut that voice up and help people even if I don’t feel worthy. I am learning to find my worth not in people’s opinion’s that don’t matter, but those I trust,value, and respect. Worth does not come from others. that has been and still is a hard lesson for me to learn because I spent so much of my time after my sisters died, gleaning my worth from the opinion’s of others. I hep this trip will not only be able to further God’s kingdom, but allow some breakthroughs to happen in my life and the lives of everyone on our trip as well. I hope to be  able to have community with others that I do not know well and be vulnerable. I hope you enjoyed this post because it was very hard to write it. I cried multiple times because for me being vulnerable is never easy. I hate being vulnerable because I feel like I setting myself up for failure. Being honest with you guys through blogging is the best way I know to be able to deal with some of the stuff I don’t feel I can through talking.

I would love it if you could keep Macedonia, our leaders on the trip and the rest of our team in your thoughts and prayers as we move forward in this scary and incredible adventure.




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